In this humorous, practical book, Joan Rivers shows every woman how to be the best she can be and stay youthful, healthy, and mellow at any–and every–age.

Filled with entertaining anecdotes and stories, Don’t Count the Candles provides down-to-earth, sensible advice on everything that every woman needs to be her best, from wardrobe and fitness to surgery and sex. Here is Joan Rivers’s own unique take on aging:

• IQ does not decrease with age. If you were a moron at twenty, you will be a moron at seventy-five.
• At fifty, confine your piercing to sardine cans and keep your hair short.
• Eat all you want, just don’t swallow it.
• A roll in the hay keeps the doctor away–unless he happens to be in the hay with you.

Take it from Joan Rivers–you’ve got a lot of living left to do!